Crazy for you

Please don't drag me to the shrink by the hair when I tell you this.

I am totally, utterly, in love.

With my job.

It is true love.

At least, it feels like true love for now.

Or rather, it is those pretty rainbow-and-unicorn emotions associated with falling head-over-heels over someone.

In my case now, that 'someone' is work. I have never felt this way before, never this pure and intense anyway, even though the only reason I got into copywriting in the first place was a love for the work.

I have been 'whispering' happy songs at the top of my lungs in the shower, mindful of not massacring the peace-and-quiet of my poor neighbours. I have been skipping (yes, s-k-i-p-p-i-n-g) around the flat, propelled by a sense of deep joy that's reverberating within me. I have been going to sleep (in the rare occasions I think it is safe to call it a day for my brain) and jumping from bed in the morning with a silly grin plastered on my face. All these, when the pace at work now is the fastest I have ever experienced...even when those that I did were already intense to begin with.

And for that, I am declared a bipolar or schizophrenia case by my friends.

According to them, I have issues.

At last count, I have chalked up 1 x offer for "a chat with my doctor friend",
2 x concerns of "maybe you need to think about what is wrong with your life that you are actually happy to bring work home for the weekend" and multiple
"you need a shrink" suggestions.

Thanks, people. It's great to know one has friends who care.

*Beams a beatific smile at those around me...via Facebook*

Truth be told, the high that I am floating on now is not exactly 100% organic.

In fact, I would say up to 95.46723% of it is synthetic, man-made.

It is an extremely conscious decision on my part to ensure that I see and appreciate all the good things in the situation I am in right now.

Instead of, you know, doing what is natural and zooms in on the negative.

Because it would really be all too easy to be flip off the positive light.

It would be all too easy to gripe about this and that, that and this.

Granted, there will always be things that could be better, things that we wished we didn't have to do.

Or things that make us want to launch a tirade of profanity (I am speaking in general terms here, not about work - nothing at work really irks me so far)

But, will putting a magnifying glass to them make them scurry away and leave us in peace?

Will complaining to one and all make everything better and less of a dread?

Putting those negative thoughts in words will only serve to reinforce them, make them real, and turn what is unsavoury into something downright unbearable.

And completely obscure the pleasant bits about them or the situation you are in.

The good that can actually come out of everything if we can only stop and learn to look in the right place. To train our thoughts and focus our energy on right here, right now, on doing the right things.

Plus, the fact is, no matter how much complaining, you still have to do what needs to be done.

Only, complaining will make it many times worse.

And then there is the thing about negative thoughts being a defense mechanism for us - a state that we automatically slip into when we are about to do something that we are not sure if we can or want to do.

Even when the reality is that it could represent a huge breakthrough for us if we do it right.

When I take stock of my life right now, especially where career is concerned, I feel incredibly blessed that I have gotten nearly everything I asked for, literally.

I say 'literally' because I did really literally ask for these things I am getting now. I had gone "If only I could have XXX" on many occasions last year, and they are all coming true before my eyes.

Now back to me floating on a high.

Everyday, there will be times when I wonder/worry if I am going to free-fall from this happy cloud that I am on now.

But then I reassure myself that my euphoria is not without foundation.

And that, yes, I am only human and so when things get a little way too challenging or when I go without proper rest for too long, it is likely and normal that I will have my way-down-in-the-dump moments, when I am as negative as one can get, and it will probably last a while too.

Yet, I will survive.

I will bounce back.

I always do.

I hope so.

Hahaha.

Alright, time to get back to work...at home.

Wish me a constant supply of the happy vibes!

*Floats off in a puff of clouds*


NOTE: I am very aware that this intense high will gradually be diluted a little as I go along.
It would probably be too unrealistic to expect that I am still singing/skipping/grinning whenever I think about work after, say, 4 months into the job. But well, I guess being less on a high doesn't have to mean I go to the other extreme and be stuck in the low. I hope I can help myself to slowly ease into a well-adjusted state of mind.

NOTE II: Even though I have been busier than ever, strangely enough, I am living a more balanced life now. I make time to go for my weekly jog at the park (I value this me-time greatly, whether it's owned by me alone or shared with my mum), and I have many big plans to introduce more activities into my life. I am a happy birdie! I hope it lasts!

NOTE III: Let me just add that I feel incredibly blessed too that somehow, I seem able to handle everything that is coming my way reasonably well, so far. And that at times when I feel like I am out of my depth, I am able to hold myself back from freaking out and instead adopt a 'Let's learn then' angle. Again, I hope, I pray, it lasts! And gets even better! ; )